I know I said I wasn't gonna...

....but this was just too rich. And my camera is miles away being repaired so it's just me and my scanner.

You know the little paper slippers hospital staff wear in operation rooms and wherever they need to keep things even cleaner than usual? I got one in the mail today from Peter Popoff. He calls it a "faith slipper." I'm supposed to put it on my right foot and stand on the bible and utter a confession about how God's word is true and all others (he doesn't say what others) are liars, how prosperous I shall be in all areas of my life, how I'll be releasing the "millionaire potential" in my life, and a bunch of other bother.

By they way, you can buy your own Christian Winner medal at Oriental Trading. I had a feeling that's where Popoff ordered them and, sure enough, I found them there.

Does God really need these spells and rituals?

I swear this stuff sounds ever more like hybridized (tribridized?) New Age "Law of Attraction" stuff, Wicca, and only the tiniest bit of Christianity. He even brings up numerology without saying the word numerology, I'm serious! "The number 8 itself represents new beginnings." That's what he says! Silly man, everybody knows that 8 represent success in numerology. He must be using that alternative Pentacostal numerology or something.

There are plenty of warnings and admonishments about obedience regarding the sowing seeds for $22 and $33. I won't drag you through them.

How do you like the "Winner" ribbon? It's a bit much, don't you think? But, wait, it gets better. I'm to wear it overnight then mail it back to him so he can throw it into the sea in the Holy Land just like the golden Coin Was Placed In The Mouth Of The Fish to pay the debts of the apostle Peter as the "Spirit of Lack" attacked him. It's a shame Popoff doesn't read his own bible. According to the bible (click the linky), no coin was placed in the fish's mouth and there were no debts to be paid, per se, it was simply a temple tax.

Jesus instructed Peter to go fishing and told him he'd find a coin in a fish's mouth that would cover the tax Jesus felt it would be wise to pay while they were in Capernaum. So, a coin was taken from a fish's mouth, not placed in one.

I don't see how polluting a sea with a bunch of cheap red, white, and blue ribbons is going to make God want to send me money. And I seriously doubt that Palestinians, Israelis, and everyone else along the Mediterranean coastline would appreciate the dumping of thousands of plastic "Christian Winner" coins in their sea. Which makes me wonder, how DOES Popoff dispose of all this junk that people mail back to him?

I'll save all this stuff and sell it as a "Peter Popoff junkmail lot" on Ebay in ten years. I wonder if he makes lunchboxes!

It came it came it came!

Here I thought ol' Popoff had given up on me because I hadn't sown any sacrificial seeds (in the form of written checks). But the moldavite pendant He Promised Me so long ago finally arrived! Sure, the stone itself is smaller than a mustard seed and the clasp is broken and won't close so the chain is useless, but i got it! It also came with a miracle. He didn't ask for money! There was an envelope inside, but no suggestions that I should send a check in the amount of anything at all. Can you believe it?

He says there are some secret faith additives on the way that I need to use in conjunction with the powerfully annointed moldavite stone. Hmm, whatever.

All I really wanted out of this whole thing was my own piece of moldavite, however small. So, unless he sends me some really remarkable faith additives, I guess I'm done blogging Popoff.

Miraculous Form -- More from The Prophet Peter Popoff

Dear Genie, For many months the Holy Spirit has been prompting me to go to Patmos, the island where God spoke to the Apostle John. While I was examining the huge rock that actually cracked into three pieces as God began to speak, something unusual happened. I drifted into a trance-like state.

Stuff happened, there was lightning, wind, and speaking in tongues

In the sand close to the cave entrance, I noticed that the wind had blown or formed the sand into an unusual "miraculous form."

Then he goes on to talk about who knows what, it's quite dull but involves terms like, "invisible force," "vicious spiritual warfare," and "reassuring presence." Several pages later you get shown the following image:



Concentrate on the "miraculous form" for 30 seconds, starting at the 4 small vertically aligned dots in the center. Then look at a wall and blink three times very quickly. When you do this, you'll see something very like the image below, which is the inverted image of the "miraculous form" above.




Once you see Jesus, you are to place your hand on the "miraculous form" and it will pick up your personal vibrations. You write down the exact date and time you saw Jesus and mail the image back to Popoff, now charged with your personal vibrations, with your "urgent request form" and he'll take it into his war room of prayer and place it on the Altar of Intercession where he will break the chains of hindrance that have held back the fulfillment of your secret wishes. Oh, and yes, he has been led to ask for a seed gift of $15 but if that's impossible, and you can in no way do that... sow a seed for at least $10.00. You can't come before God with empty hands. Now return this page, the "miraculous form" and your sacrificial seed gift to me TODAY.

The first time I ever saw the Jesus optical illusion was probably in a forwarded email full of several different kinds of optical illusions. There are many many many places online where you can find the "miraculous form." Just Google "optical illusion+Jesus" and you'll get 147,000 hits.

Also included in this mailing is a photo of Popoff in the cave on the Isle of Patmos--no photo of the miraculous form included. The power of this sacred place is so great that even this photograph can bring blessings to you. Please use it as a focal point during prayer. You will be amazed by the results. Um, excuse me, did Popoff pretty much just ask me to pray to him or worship him? Why, I think that's exactly what he just did!

There's yet more in this letter, a second letter in fact. Although I am not supposed to open it until 7 days after mailing the "miraculous form" back. It contains these construction paper Golden Prosperity Bracelets, saturated with an awesome prosperity anointing, that will serve as our contact point.

The anointing that goes with these bracelets, if you send a $33 seed gift and one of the bracelets back, promise that You will also discover your hidden gifts and abilities. No one will be able to fool you again. Kind of shooting himself in the foot, isn't he?

Three Envelopes, Three Promises

"I MUST HEAR FROM YOU NOW. Genie, I must have the GREEN BRACELET back for my first 7 days of prayer and fasting... after you wear it TONIGHT ONLY... so you can see an abundant harvest during the rest of this year... enclose your sacrifice of $33." That is EXACTLY how it appears in the letter minus some underscoring because Blogger doesn't have that feature on it's editing toolbar.

".. if you can only send $22, you can send the rest during the next 14 days..." All the "..." are his, I'm not adding them for some kind of dramatic effect.

He advises me to read the following "prayerfully," "I saw Genie Robinson scrawled on a piece of paper. . . it looked so ominous [I know, I can be more than a little overbearing]. . . and a target was drawn around your name . . . God showed me that satan has TARGETED YOUR FINANCES [oh, that's what the problem has been! Damn that Satan!]. He has put a contract for a hit out on you . . . but . . . through these anointed words and your obedience [meaning a check or money order] we are about to release the ENFORCER, the Holy Ghost."

"In Jesus name, read on as God reveals to you the greatest Devil Destroying attack since Bible times."

"Yes, not one person in the Bible received a Miracle without first cooperating and doing their part." Funny, I don't remember anyone writing Jesus a check in the new testament.



As soon as he gets the red one back, "I'll enter my prayer chamber for 7 days." Hmm, maybe I should at least send the red one back. Seven days in a "secret prayer chamber" might do this guy some good.

Paying My Bills Through Prayer

Click images to enlarge.

I got a letter from the Prophet Peter Popoff today. It didn't include the promised Moldavite Crystal Pendant or any other faith additives. Dangit. No miracle manna, no chips of moldavite, no pendant, no ribbons or cloth, no coins, I feel so cheated.

If I've ever needed a supernatural intervention, it's right now! Or so says the Prophet. He promises to help me pay my highest bill. Something has told him that I recently received a large bill that I cannot pay. I WISH it was just the one bill! All I have to do is perform this little overnight ritual and then mail him 10% of the amount due (to show my faith and obedience) along with a corner torn from the bill itself and he'll go to the God Bank (via prayer) for me and see what he can do. He advises me to select the highest bill I have for this appeal to God. I'm sure this has nothing to do with him getting a higher cut this way.

This man has NO shame. I suppose I've seen worse done in the name of God, but really, how has he not been arrested for these scams? In addition to suggesting I send him 10% of my highest bill, there is also space on the enclosed form for me to make an offering to God--his minimum suggestion as to what God would most appreciate is $20. Would that even be enough to buy the J-man and his posse afternoon lattes at Starbucks?

His theme for this letter? Philippians 4:19--And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

What's funniest to me about the letters he sends is how he weaves New Age spirituality (trés Law of Attraction) and Pagan ritual in with Christianity. The ritual for this letter's "magic" reeks of Edgar Cayce, ".... put it [the bill] in your Bible..... Leave it there overnight and put your Bible under you pillow as you sleep." Okay, I've totally tried to learn the way Edgar Cayce did and I've never gotten anything out of it but a crick in my neck.

His signature is printed on this letter, it's very telling. It's full of hooks, suggesting someone who LOVES to acquire and have and collect. And he X's through his family name, suggesting some rather interesting father issues. I'd love to know more about that! His writing is full of sharp angles and wicked slashes, I don't think he uses those hands just for healing.

Sow a seed for just $27!

"Your Annointed Prophet Peter Popoff" sent me a chip of moldavite. Heard of it? Many of the spiritual gurus are swearing it has all kinds of woo woo power. It's supposed to be powerful stuff. Being a lover of crystals and rocks myself, I've been wanting a hunk for ages. It's really expensive though. But my desires are already coming to pass as evidenced by my Prophet sending me a chip of moldavite! You can barely even tell that it's green. I had to digitally enhance the photo above so that you could see the green and, in fact, most of the green was created (not revealed) by the editing. That's a dime on the right..

Here is what the gurus say about Moldavite. And here is what science has to say about it. Moldavite is believed to have been formed by the "Ries impact event" in Germany and the stone has only ever been found at that impact site. If this is true, than all moldavite is over 14 million years old.

The following are scanned images from the letter enclosed with my Faith Additive. Just click on them to enlarge them. If they won't enlarge and you really want to see a larger image, just click here.

The moldavite pendant above is mine if I'll return the little chip of moldavite that my Prophet sent me in the mail. That's his thing. He mails you something, you mail it back in an envelope (preferably with a check) and he mails you something else. Perhaps this is intended to connect me more deeply with the Prophet.

Yes, yes, quick before you realize how stupid all of this sounds!

Holy Blessings, Batman, it's an ANNOINTED chip of moldavite. Woot! Must watch out for those side effects though. I wonder if all the sweating and flushing is from the MSG that is used as a preservative in this Faith Additive.

If I can't "sow a seed" of $27, that's okay, $22 would be acceptable. But if that doesn't work either, I can go ahead and send another amount. But if I am not obedient, His blessings may suddenly stop. Gotta love the undconditional love of "my" prophet and my God.

Above is the chip back in its baggy ready to be mailed back to the Propeht (sans $27, $22, or Other). There's a little request on it to please use a stamp so as to "save the work of God money" but it's okay if I don't have a stamp, my Prophet will handle the postage.

According to the letter I was supposed to send the chip back IMMEDIATELY but I didn't. Hope they're not all out of annointed moldavite pendants. Then I won't have any moldavite at all. le Sigh.

My Prophet Peter Popoff called again!

In a recorded message my Prophet Peter Popoff has informed me that he has a special gift for me that comes directly from heaven. He says he mailed it just a few days ago. Well, first he said, "Please don't hang up." Then he told me these other things.

I just hope the heaven sent goody is worth shooting! So, keep your eye out, I may soon be posting pix of something that comes directly from heaven. I challenge any photographer to beat that!

Suh-Nap!

Use Faith Additive #2 As Follows:

I have insomnia. I have it quite bad. One night, or morning really, I was flipping channels and there was Your Prophet Peter Popoff with his supernatural promises for millenial prosperity. In this instance, it came in the form of his miracle water. "Just call now" to receive a tube of Chernobyl miracle water. "It's free!" Okay, why not? In fact, I'll take two.

Within a couple of weeks I received two plastic tubes of water with a slight yellowish haze to them. I drank it. Why not? A miracle is a miracle. I wasn't cured. Big surprise. The water tasted like plastic. But, hey, who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth?

Now I get regular mail from "my" Prophet Peter Popoff. I got a few calls from him too. The calls stopped after about a month, thankfully. The calls were all recordings that started the same way, "This is your prophet Peter Popoff...." I'm so glad to have my own prophet, everyone should get one.

This envelope and the two enclosed coins arrived in the mail today. Know what I thought? "Wow, this sounds like Wicca!" First you must cleanse the sacred objects, whatever they may be. In Paganism you usally cleanse the object(s) in salt or salt water. Then you work up the magic through some ritual, such as to "rub these anointed coins on the palms of your hands as you think carefully about all the money you need....." Then you bury one of the objects somewhere as an offering to the god/dess of your choice. Another of the objects is allowed to be carried off by the wind or water (or postal service, in this case). This is accomplished by burning the object so that its ashes can be scattered by the wind, attached to something that will fly like a balloon or kite, or it is set onto or into something that will float and is released into some body of water.

Oh, and yes, if you read the rest of the enclosed letter (which is now in a trashcan at my local post office) it tells you how important it is that you include a check with the SOURCE OF TOTAL SUPPLY ENVELOPE for this miracle to work for you. It truly is a source of total supply envelope... for Peter Popoff. For your money, it's a SOURCE OF TOTAL GOODBYE ENVELOPE.

I see from his website that he is now offering free Miracle Manna. It's supposed to be capable of initiating a breakthrough in your life on a spiritual, physical, or financial level. There's a Miracle Manna video on his website that tells you all about it.

I hope my prophet keeps sending me mail. So far he's sent me all kinds of things. Ribbons, some little piece of fabric that looked like a Barbie apron, plenty of promises for miracles and prophecy (gotta send money to get the prophecies though). I wish I knew how to sum up this blog entry but I can't think of a way to summarize this phenomena. I just hope he doesn't give up on me, I'm really enjoying the stuff he sends me. It's fascinating.

I wonder why he instructs you to be alone when you perform this Golden Angel Coin magic?